Moving Right Along

Full steam ahead ... 

I've shared my journey with a lot more people now. Such a positive response I've had! I feel very loved and a ton of support.

I finished two of the books on my previous list! I'm perusing two more. No sense reading the same things over and over.

I had a great extended weekend at Haviland Lake near Durango, CO. I spent a good bit of time in prayer and meditation and had a time to reflect on what is ahead. It was good to have that time to "get my head on straight" and make sure my heart and mind were alligned.

Yesterday I went to a pre-op education class at the WLS center. Learned new stuff and remembered old stuff. Met two ladies who are having surgery on the same day as me, although theirs is the vertical sleeve.

Things I learned that I didn't like were having to wait until the surgeon says I can have liquid after the surgery when they say I will have a very dry mouth. Fun, fun.

The other thing that almost made me push away from the table and walk away was needing clear liquids only the day before surgery. I've since found out I can have protein shakes that day which means I may survive after all.

Today I met with the surgeon for my pre-op appointment. It appears this is really happening. Ha! I asked him a ton of questions which he was patient and wonderful about. I signed my consent form and we went through all of the possible complications. We talked about how quickly I will come off medications, how quickly my diabetes will subside, and how quickly I'll recover! I seriously get teary eyed when I think about it!

I got my surgery time and my post-op prescriptions.  I have to check in at 6:30 on the 15th and surgery should be around 8. Rumor has it some gastric bypass patients are only spending one night in the hospital.  I will do my best to get up and walk and drink every little two ounce cup of water or protein drinks they give me.  I would love to be back home as soon as I can!

Hey, wanna see a morbidly obese woman completely freak out? When you have her diagnosis listed on a form for surgery where it says DIAGNOSIS: MORBIDLY OBESE, don't follow that with a "code" that is 278.1. She could think you have mistaken her weight!  Because while she is overweight, she's not that overweight.  

More to talk about but I've got to get ready for Bible class tonight.

"He must become more and I must become less." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

Numbuh two Endoscopy

Second Endoscopy is on the books.  In the books?  On?  Well, hopefully you are wiser than me and know what I mean. It has been completed. It no longer niggles at me as the last surgeon-ordered step to check off. Well, I haven't finished my book yet.  He did order that. But I'm still reading. No more evaluations or appointments. Except with him. Okay, forget everything I've just said.  I'm still cloudy-brained from the most lovely drugs I was given for the second endoscopy I had yesterday that is now HISTORY.  Although I'm a girl, so that makes it HERSTORY.  Right?  Right.

They got my IV in with one try this time!  Power of prayer my friends, power of prayer.  And my tummy was completely empty, as my light headedness, nausea, and zombie-like state attested to.  Dr. Pretty eyes got all the pictures he needed.  He took biopsies of polyps.  He apparently scraped sandpaper down my throat too because last night my throat started hurting and that has continued today.  Hmmm.  It didn't hurt last time!  But then again nachos prevented him from doing very much then. <Not my fault.  I followed the rules.>

The worst part of this one was the tummy prep.  I could only have clear liquids as long as they weren't red or purple.  Can we all agree that the best jello and popsicles are RED?  And grape is a close second!  By 1 pm, without coffee or breakfast or coffee or lunch or coffee, I was certain I would be a goner by 2 pm.  I called and whined, uh hmm, I mean asked if I could pretty please with sugar on top have a protein shake.  After some discussion with an unidentified person she said yes.  (I may or may not have been sniffling while I waited.)

Side note: Dr. Pretty eyes told me that had been a really good idea for me.  I batted my eyelashes and said, "I know, right!"  Woman with diabetes here ... nutrition, particularly protein is mighty important!

I've been blending away on my kitchen power tool.  Holy cow have I arrived at the promised land of blenders.  People fool around with those pitiful little $30 jobs from Wal-Mart that walk themselves across the counter because they know no better!  Me loves my Ninja! 

The race is on to gather needed supplies, make lists of anything and everything to do with surgery and post op events as well as enjoy lasts that may never be part of my life again.  I have no idea what my new tum tum will tolerate ... likely sugar will become rather unpleasant (and let's be honest, I won't need to let sugar be a part of my life anyway). 

I'm working through a lot in my head too.  I'm hoping the fast of sorts that the surgery will induce will give me time to realize that feeling better and living longer will be way more satisfying than eating crap I don't have any business ingesting.

I'm worn out.  I should have taken it easier today.  The pooches woke me up at like 7.  On a Saturday.  A Saturday people!  I hurried to my devotions and gave God so much praise for the modern day miracle I felt I received yesterday of getting that scope over with.  Once I was done, I started back to work on a baby quilt I'm anxious to get completed.  I ran some errands this afternoon and those were my undoing.  So.  Very.  Exhausted.

I'll have to go back and see what all I've blogged about and what I might need to blog about in the future.  I don't know how much I've talked about all my little appointments I've been to.  I'd like to share all of that, especially if anyone is following this journey heading for one of their own.  I wonder if anybody is reading this?  Leave me a comment if so and let me know if you have any questions.  Answering questions is really good for me.  It helps me focus on the why of this and the how and also keeps my knowledge from melting away and oozing out my ears.

I found another quote today that I found powerful:

If I take advantage of this awesome tool of surgery:

"[ I ] will have an amazing opportunity to overcome and even reverse the death sentence of morbid obesity." - Susan Leach

"He must become more, I must become less." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

Decisions Decisions

So deciding to have surgery and choosing the gastric bypass ... things we should talk about.

I think that right after I talked to my April (BFF in Atlanta) I felt certain I was headed in a surgical direction.   With every mile closer to home I was becoming more and more convinced that this could be my saving grace.  

Statistics that quieted the negative voices and made me sure I wanted surgery:

• Without surgery I am 50% more likely to die of heart disease.
• Without surgery I am 90% more likely to die of diabetes complications.
• Less than 5% of the morbidly obese manage to lose their excess weight and keep it off permanently.  That's sobering.
• 95% of WLS patients confirm improvement in their quality of life.

Gastric bypass became the front runner when I researched its safety record and its SUCCESS record. 

Safety wise:

• It is as safe as gall bladder removal which I had done (while pregnant with my son!) in 2004
• It is as safe as knee replacement surgery ... which I am going to be looking at if I don't get this weight off and fast!

Success wise:

• Patients lose weight fast.  Let's face it, that's a huge plus!
• Patients lose more of their excess body weight with this one.  No brainer.
• Patients maintain weight loss better with this one.

Weight loss surgery comes with two properties: restrictive and malabsorptive.  The lap band is restrictive.  The sleeve is restrictive.  The duodenal switch (which isn't being done in my area yet) is malabsorptive.  The gastric bypass is currently the only one that does both.

The size of the stomach is reduced (restrictive) and part of the small intestine is re-routed (bypass) which is the malabsorptive part.  It reduces how many calories are absorbed.  It also reduces absorption of nutrients and vitamins as well (which is a negative for it to some).

I decided if I was going under anesthesia and being cut on, I wanted to set myself up for as much success as possible.  Why go half way?  To me it was a no-brainer to go with the gastric bypass at that point.

I will be on vitamin supplements for the rest of my life but the idea of this does not bother me.  I take 20 or so pills a day now.  Half prescriptions, half OTC supplements.  To end up taking less and ones without side effects ... this is not a sacrifice.

Another decision I made early on was to keep a lid on what I was planning.  WLS has such a bad rap.  People are so judgmental about it.  I can say that because I'm sure I was for years.  And perhaps those of us seeking such surgery are the most judgmental of all.

My inner sanctum has been told.  The people in my house, my April, one of my sisters, my mom, my preacher's wife, our youth minister's wife (both of whom are friends too), my two best local friends, my oldest friend (since Kindergarten), my mother-in-law, and another close friend who lives away.

I've told a few others I'm having surgery but not what kind.

I'm warming up to people knowing.  At first I wanted to be sure myself before I had to discuss with others.  I only told those that I knew loved me and would be kind with their questions and concerns.  I recently wrote my dad to tell him, which was hard because I knew he had significantly bad feelings about the bypass in particular.  I'll have to post once I hear back from him.

I'm closer to announcing it.  I want prayers and support from all who are willing.  I have to pray about it some more.  I'm worried I won't be understanding for people who say dumb things.  That's more a me problem than a them one.

"He must increase but I must decrease." - John 3:30

Be blessed y'all!

Dr. Bow Tie

So we're moving right along ...

July 1, 2015

Today was my consultation with the surgeon.  I was nervous.  Like, very.  The last time I had been in that office I had a lump in my breast and saw a surgeon I absolutely did not like. (Benign, no surgery, no worries.)  I didn't know what he might do as far as an exam and I already knew I probably wasn't going to like him.  ('Cause remember the surgeon I met at the seminar, Dr. Pretty Eyes?  He had set the bar high.  Oh, I didn't mention he had pretty eyes?  He did.  But that's really not important in the grand scheme of things.

So, Dr. Bow tie came in to meet us.  Yep, us.  My husband was right by my side again!  Dr. Bow Tie wasn't wearing a bow tie but in staff pictures he had worn one and that's how I had envisioned him.  Anyway, Dr. Bow tie.  He.  Was.  Wonderful.  I mean, really, really wonderful.  Buh bye Dr. Pretty Eyes hello Dr. Bow tie!

He asked if I knew which surgery I wanted and I told him unless someone smarter than me thought other wise, I was pretty set on the gastric bypass.  He smiled and said he was glad.  He said he had been prepared to try to talk me into that.

He said at my age with my obesity history, obesity related health issues, and my hurry to get back to life, he thought it was the very best option.

He laid out a list of things I needed to accomplish before seeing him again:

• Read "The Expert's Guide to Weight Loss Surgery" by Garth Davis, M.S.
• See the psychologist, required for all weight loss surgery candidates
• Have a physiological evaluation
• Take a nutritional class at the weight loss surgery center (all of which I had planned for, I even already had the book.  But what I hadn't planned for was ... )
• An endoscopy, which truth be told didn't scare me as much as the required IV that went along with it.  He wanted to see what damage years of overeating and acid reflux had caused.  Was there anything he would need to treat before or fix during surgery?

So.  There it was.  It was gettin' real up in there.  All I had to do was to wait for each of the places I needed to consult at to call me.  Oh, and get going on reading that book!

Next blog I'll try to write about what made me sure WLS (weight loss surgery) was for me and what tipped the scales in the gastric bypass direction!

"He must increase but I must decrease." - John 3:30

Be blessed y'all!

Shortly Thereafter

May 4, 2015

Okay, so we are in the middle of a road trip and I'm researching bariatric surgery at this point.  I'd actually been thinking about it since last September when Rosie O'Donnell talked about her vertical gastric sleeve on the View.

We met my long time bestie for dinner and I walked away with an overwhelming feeling of needing to discuss gastric bypass with her (which she had back in 2001).  Three days later we got together again and I pummeled her with questions about the surgery.  The good thing about besties is that you can talk about anything!  Gross stuff, sad stuff, emotional stuff, physical stuff!  Nothing is off limits.  I had a great feeling that I was going in the right direction after that.

A few days later I told my sister what I was thinking.  She asked a lot of questions and we talked about it at length.  I also told my mom.  She was supportive and asked some questions and encouraged me to keep her informed.

As we headed home I felt better.  Lighter.  For the first time in forever I had hope.  Hope that I wouldn't always be morbidly obese.  (Isn't that an awful title?)  Hope that I could still live.  Hope that I could do things with my husband and kids instead of sit and watch off to the side.  Man, there's no place like hope.

By the time we got home I knew my options were Lapband, Vertical sleeve, and gastric bypass.  I started researching surgeons in our area and the weight loss surgery centers.  One hospital had their weight loss surgery seminar scheduled for the following week.  I signed up right away.

My research continued as I awaited the seminar.  I became pretty certain the lapband was not for me.  I could not decide between the sleeve and bypass though.  I educated myself as well as I could before the seminar.

May 20, 2015

My sweet husband went with me.  He's awesome.  I didn't learn much that I didn't know already from the seminar.  I did meet a surgeon that I liked a whole lot and confirmed the lapband was definitely not for me.  Eww.  Port.  Ewww.  Fills.  Ewww.  But I started leaning more toward gastric bypass that night and that's the route I chose to follow going forward.  

They immediately confirmed my insurance would cover such surgery and that there was no waiting period.  Woo hoo.  Unfortunately the sweet surgeon we met didn't do gastric bypass so I got an appointment to see another surgeon.

Things stood still for a month or so as I waited to see the surgeon and also got through our church's VBS which I was in charge of.  Finally met a wonderful surgeon on July 1.  That's where we'll stop for now.

"He must increase but I must decrease." - John 3:30

Be blessed y'all.

In the beginning

While a change in me has been needed and pondered for some time now, I suppose there was a series of defining moments that started the journey I now find myself on.

Thursday, April 30, 2015

My family and I woke up in Springfield, VA,  We'd arrived late the previous night and opted to sleep in.  Once up and moving we headed for Mount Vernon, home of George and Martha Washington.

My favorite kind of place; it was packed with history and nostalgia. Mostly shady walking paths without too much up and down were a welcome sight.

After less than an hour, my right knee that is badly affected by arthritis was throbbing and the pain quickly escalated.  By sheer will I held back the tears.  I kept going because I was so excited to be there.

As we were pulling out of the parking lot I told my husband I was done.  I was tired of missing out on life.  I was tired of hurting.  I was tired of disappointing my children, 14 and 10, and something had to change.  I had no idea where that statement would take me.

My initial thought was that I would join a Weigh Down Workshop online class and dive in.  Years before I had had success with WDW and hoped it would be an answer to prayer this time.  We were in the middle of a three week road trip so I began internet research to choose a class and order materials.

The next day we went to the Smithsonian.  After the first museum I was hurting again.  After the second museum I wasn't sure if I could walk anymore.  We hired a pedi cab to take us to third museum that was several blocks away.  When we exited my husband paid him and said, "You certainly earned it."

My precious, gentle husband meant because the man had hauled four of us several blocks.  My twisted mind?  I completely internalized it to mean because of his huge wife he had earned it.  I didn't tell the hubs it hurt me until much later.  Of course he was flabbergasted that I would take that personally.  Of course he was absolutely right to be flabbergasted.

But something was set in motion that would not be stopped.  The journey began and I wouldn't look back.

So as I begin to tell my story, I'm not in an emotional place where I can announce my weight, but I will tell you that I'm more than 100 pounds over my ideal body weight with a BMI of 43.3.  I've been morbidly obese for 17 or so years and was always "chubby-ish".

I suffer from and am medicated for:

• Type 2 Diabetes
• Sleep Apnea
• Arthritis in my knee
• High Cholesterol
• High Blood Pressure
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Acid Reflux (GERD)

Because of my size or complications I won't try to do these things I would like to do:

• Fly alone
• Ride rides at theme parks
• Dancing
• Bowling
• Rafting
• Ziplining
• Horseback riding

Losing weight and getting healthy could help me:

• Participate in life instead of watching from the sidelines
• Be a functioning member of my family 
• Have the ability and confidence to fulfill God's purposes for my life
• Have more energy and stamina
• Cure or improve all the issues above
• Increase the length of my life
• Increase the quality of my life
• Shop without difficulty and maybe even enjoy it

I've made a difficult decision and I'll be writing about the journey thus far and going forth.  And a mantra I'm adopting although I'm using somewhat out of context:

"He must become greater; I must become less."

- John 3:30

Be blessed.