Pre-Op Diet

I have really struggled all week long. I was able to talk myself down from the ledge of head hunger. That wasn't a problem. But I was ingesting so few calories that I was pretty constantly experiencing physiological hunger. I've been exhausted. I've been dizzy. I've been light-headed. I've felt really yucky.

A sample of a day in the life of my wackadoo diet:

Breakfast - Protein shake

Lunch - 1 slice whole grain bread, 2 oz. lean lunch meat, 1 slice swiss, 1 boiled egg

Dinner - 3 oz. lean meat, 1/2 c. red potato

Some days there was a sugar free yogurt thrown in, an extra boiled egg or an additional protein shake.  It depended on how my calorie count was going or how weak I was feeling.

I'll tell ya though, I'm really proud of myself. I have done very, very well. Today, I had my pre-op weight check and I had lost 11 pounds since Wednesday, September 2. I was shocked. And thrilled. And hungry.

Thought it was a bit apropos that I had lost 11 pounds on the 14th anniversary of 9/11. 

Can I be honest? As I was driving across town to pick little Bella (our Shorkie-Tzu), I had a strong urge to pull into Dairy Queen. In my head I'm like, "Why?" I couldn't tell you the last time I patroned a DQ. I knew I wouldn't, but I did want to. And that made me sad. And that, mad me mad. 

However, across the street from our DQ was a van whose imprint read, "Bonsai"! (Side note: I love Bonsai and bamboo!) I called Mark and asked if I could stop and get one.  I went back later that afternoon and got a $40 bonsai for $20. I met a very nice man of Asian descent I believe. All in all a fantastic substitute for DQ.

So days are counting down. I can't believe it is almost finally here. All the planning, evaluations, education, medical appointments are finally going to pay off.

I've got a lot of life to yet to live. I'm ready to get on with it. Be with me, Father God. Bless these efforts and may I grow to be a more active servant of Yours. 

"He must become more, I must become less." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

Pre-Op Education

Well, my pre-op education at the hospital is done. Thought I would document those goings-on for two reasons. One, so others can know what all it entailed. Two, so I can have a reference to help me remember everything.

First of all, the parking area for Day Surgery at Community Hospital is awful. Aw. Ful.  

Laura, R.N., was my pre-op go-er overer. She was very nice. She asked me all kinds of questions about my medical history, my parents' medical history, my dogs' medical history. You get the point. I had prepared and printed up a current list of my medications (which is pretty long). It's a good idea to get such lists off of the printer to take with you. Just warning those of you who might be inclined to be a little bone headed. Uh-hmm.

She gave me a body wash to use on Sunday night, Monday night, and Tuesday morning before heading to the hospital.  

She told me the surgery was scheduled to be over by 11:15 a.m. That's 3 hours and 15 minutes. Sorry honey. I won't have any idea how long that time is. Good, good drugs. But my honey will be waiting during that time.

I'm to stop taking my fish oil capsules now. Apparently they can thin your blood.

I was sent to have an EKG. And then I was sent to the lab to have blood drawn. "One-stick-Patty" is her name and she don't play! Smooth and easy and I was so thankful!

Did I mention I left my cell phone at home? Yeah. That's fun. Really great when your driver's license and insurance card are with it. And you are checking in at a hospital. That you drove to.

I blame the wackadoo diet ... my brain is cloudy. I could just be forgetful. But I feel strongly it's the diet. Wackadoo. Diet.

Wackadoo or not I have lost more than 6 pounds. I weigh in for a check tomorrow.  Glad for the success. Would really stink to do all this and have nothing to show for it!

"He must become more and I must become less." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all,

Lesa

My Fight Song

When I heard this a few weeks ago it hit me HARD. I feel like this will be a fight against Satan. A fight for me to reclaim the temple in Jesus' name that I have been given to maintain. A fight to live and eat as God designed me to. A fight to say, "Get behind me! Hit the road. See ya sucker." This vessel I'm in now ... it could not have been God's dream for me. I'm using a very distinct tool to reclaim it. Every ounce, every wow moment, every victory will be glory to Him. Even with surgery I wouldn't get very far without Him. So I scream from the top of my lungs ...

"This is my fight song

Take back my life song

Prove I'm alright song

My power's turned on

Starting right now I'll be strong

I'll play my fight song

And I don't really care if nobody else believes

'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me."*

This week has been rough.  But I know now that I can do hard things.  1000 calories a day is very, very hard.  (I think I get a little more than that even after my stomach is smaller!)  But telling my kids I couldn't take them to the zoo in Atlanta because my knee hurt too bad ... that was one of the hardest things of all.  I can't do that again.  I won't.  So bring it on!

"He must increase and I must decrease!"  - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

* As performed by Rachel Platten

Down to the Last Week

Well, I can't let this day go by without a little post to acknowledge it.  It is crazy to me that the event I have been working very hard to get to is a week away!

I'm on Day 4 of the pre-op diet.  It hasn't been loads of fun but I am surviving.  I had planned to stop coffee yesterday but instead I started weaning myself off last week.  It went VERY WELL.  And I'm glad I didn't chance having any withdrawal symptoms this week.

I tell you what ... this is not for the faint of heart.  I wanted so badly to get a coney at Sonic today.  Not a footlong.  I haven't done that for many years.  But just a regular one.  There was no way I would have.  My mind is made up.  But the longing for it ... it made me sad.  And that made me mad.  But the bottom line is I'm choosing change.  So I pulled in and got my Route 44 ice water.  I can't use straws for 12 weeks after surgery so I'm getting my last fix.

Our homeschool co-op had orientation today.  It was great to get out and be distracted!  Trini got to be a girl and giggle and chat with her friends and I got to meet some great people and help out with registration.

The next few days have a little activity each day which is actually good.  But they aren't packed which is good too.  Will has his 11th birthday this weekend and I'm looking forward to celebrating his precious life.

A friend told me today that she was proud of me.  She said, "What you're doing isn't easy."  Those words were balm on a heart that is still working through the mental aspects of this surgery.  Nothing has been easy so far and it gets even harder post-op.

I'm so ready.  So.  Very.  Ready.

"He must become more and I must become less."  John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

Not My Favorite

This picture made me cry. I had so enjoyed being on my own in a strange city with the kids (while Mark was at a conference).  My knee was hurting a lot but I had a great time.  Then I saw this picture and it was as if I was a balloon and this picture was a big, sharp pin.  Never felt as big as I did when I saw it.

Insiders' Look

So, since the beginning most of my inner sanctum has been getting periodic updates on the progress of my surgery.  I've decided to publish the most recent email I sent out in order to make my blog a little more personal.  Hope you enjoy this inside look!

Begin Email:

Hey y'all!

Well, it has begun.  Day 1 of the 10 day pre-op diet and I'm doing okay. Protein shake alone didn't go very far to start the day but after a healthily made to the specs I was given half a sandwich, I started feeling better. On protein shake number two now. Almond Vanilla ... yummo. This is a high protein, low carb diet to drop some weight and shrink my liver before surgery. (They have to lift my liver out of the way to get to my stomach. The smaller it is the easier that is to do. And Dr. Hanosh is a petite man ... gotta help him out.) Your liver is the first place you gain fat and the first place you lose fat, fyi. I guess I'll have the liver of a super model early on after surgery. tee hee

Mountain top experience report ... was absolutely what I wanted and needed it to be. The family would wonder off to explore and do their thing and I had time to sit and pray and meditate and read His Word. It was true communion and between that and the WLS books I read while there my take away was that I'm doing just what I'm supposed to be doing.

I had my pre-op education class with the WLS center on Tuesday. It's much more real when they talk about your real life expectations as opposed to reading about others' experiences. The only time my eyes teared up and I nearly pushed back from the table to leave was when I heard "clear liquid diet". LOL. I'm very impressed with the organization they have and the very structured program.   

I saw Dr. Hanosh on Wednesday. Spent a lot of time talking with him. Had a whole list of questions for him. (It had been shortened due to many being answered at the educ. class.) He went over all the risks. I knew it all of course. :) Actually he mentioned that it was likely my liver would be enlarged (even if less fatty) ... and that a biopsy of it is usually taken. I signed my surgery consent form ... talk about a very real moment. He is so patient and gentle ... I just really, really like him. He was impressed with my WLS binder and all my questions. I got brownie points because I had not gained weight like a lot of patients do!! I had lost a couple of pounds. Oh, and I love him extra because he said I could have protein shakes all day the day before surgery instead of clear fluids. God bless Dr. Bowtie!

Another important development this week was getting my hair done yesterday.  Gotta be bright and sunshiney when I wake up in the hospital.  Gloomy and frumpy just wouldn't cut it.

Next weekend I'll take Trini and a friend to Goodwill and I will be getting pants in at least 3 or 4 sizes just below what I wear now. Get a pair or three at each size so I will have something to wear as I shrink. Shirts I will worry about later as mine start to swallow me up.

I would love for you to pray over me this week as I struggle for energy with this wackadoo diet. Next Monday will likely be a little difficult diet wise so pray that day too. Surgery is at 8 am on Tuesday morning with a check-in at 6:30. This is a huge blessing! I will be feeling not so good from lack of food and I will not have all morning to get anxious or worried.

And I'm feeling the emotional ties pulling on me. We had to go shop for groceries today because our week was so busy I couldn't get to the store!  Seeing things I liked and wondering if I'd ever have them again? It was good. Cathartic even. (So I started typing lethargic instead of cathartic. Freudian slip? I think not.) And it's good to start dealing with feelings like that now. Ya know, it's just all really good!

Thanks for all the support and all the prayers! We're closing in!

Love y'all,

Lesa

End Email

"He must increase and I must decrease." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

Moving Right Along

Full steam ahead ... 

I've shared my journey with a lot more people now. Such a positive response I've had! I feel very loved and a ton of support.

I finished two of the books on my previous list! I'm perusing two more. No sense reading the same things over and over.

I had a great extended weekend at Haviland Lake near Durango, CO. I spent a good bit of time in prayer and meditation and had a time to reflect on what is ahead. It was good to have that time to "get my head on straight" and make sure my heart and mind were alligned.

Yesterday I went to a pre-op education class at the WLS center. Learned new stuff and remembered old stuff. Met two ladies who are having surgery on the same day as me, although theirs is the vertical sleeve.

Things I learned that I didn't like were having to wait until the surgeon says I can have liquid after the surgery when they say I will have a very dry mouth. Fun, fun.

The other thing that almost made me push away from the table and walk away was needing clear liquids only the day before surgery. I've since found out I can have protein shakes that day which means I may survive after all.

Today I met with the surgeon for my pre-op appointment. It appears this is really happening. Ha! I asked him a ton of questions which he was patient and wonderful about. I signed my consent form and we went through all of the possible complications. We talked about how quickly I will come off medications, how quickly my diabetes will subside, and how quickly I'll recover! I seriously get teary eyed when I think about it!

I got my surgery time and my post-op prescriptions.  I have to check in at 6:30 on the 15th and surgery should be around 8. Rumor has it some gastric bypass patients are only spending one night in the hospital.  I will do my best to get up and walk and drink every little two ounce cup of water or protein drinks they give me.  I would love to be back home as soon as I can!

Hey, wanna see a morbidly obese woman completely freak out? When you have her diagnosis listed on a form for surgery where it says DIAGNOSIS: MORBIDLY OBESE, don't follow that with a "code" that is 278.1. She could think you have mistaken her weight!  Because while she is overweight, she's not that overweight.  

More to talk about but I've got to get ready for Bible class tonight.

"He must become more and I must become less." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!