15 Days Post Op

I'm afraid I'm going to start repeating myself. My brain has been a bit fuzzy since the surgery. Today, I am 15 days post-op. I saw my surgeon and had a great visit.

He was impressed with my blood pressure numbers and my bee-u-tee-ful blood sugars. I was down 20 lbs. since my last visit to his office on September 11. That's down 31 lbs. since my first visit to him!

He also said the most beautiful words one could ever hear!! "You can advance to the moist and mushy / fork tender diet." Tears of joy.

I have to work on my water intake. Most I've gotten is 50 oz. in a day. Need to get up to 60 to 64. It's VERY hard! And I can't drink while I eat so that's going to add a kink in things. I used to refill my 44 oz. cup three or four times a day. Crazy how I'm struggling now! At least I like water.

I've really struggled y'all. Liquids? I mean after so long they all are just blah. Like, even when I was hungry, nothing sounded worth getting up and drinking! So, I prayed. A. Lot. Those first days home when I didn't feel like moving were the worst. I couldn't get up and distract myself! 

But here's the thing. I've struggled. It's been hard. Like, really, really hard. But I have the advantage of having help this time. For every day that I struggle and fight, I actually see progress being made. If the scale hadn't changed a bit, the fact that I've gone from 11 prescriptions down to 4 is miraculous! Do you know how much of a difference it makes to struggle and see positive results? I've barely had that. Ever.

Mark takes me for walks now. I actually made it around the block last night. And, I left the walker at home. Feels good to walk without assistance!

I'm going to try driving today, a short distance but still. It scares me a little. I'm off the pain meds but twisting and reaching are hard. I'll take it a little at a time and see how it goes. I'll work up to heading to Hobby Lobby you know!

I'm back into my devotions on a pretty regular basis and that makes a world of difference. My friend Ann says it's like a big, warm hug. Amen, Sister! 

"He must become more, I must become less." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

11 Days Post-Op

It occurs to me that I haven't talked much about the weight loss. I certainly haven't been disappointed in that area. More than numbers on the scale, my blood sugars have gone way down. (On one med instead of two.) My blood pressure is hovering a little higher than I would like but not dangerous at this time. (That's with no blood pressure meds as opposed to the three before.) And I have experienced no knee pain yet that required ice. (I was icing every other day it seemed before.) Now, the knee thing could change as I am able to move more and more.

Okay, I think I'm ready to talk numbers.

263 - When I made the decision to have weight loss surgery

261 - My first surgeon's appointment

250 - My pre-op weight check

241 - One week post-op

235 - 11 days post-op

I don't think these numbers will continue once I start eating as opposed to drinking my calories. But it feels wonderful to get a head start on getting healthier.

Now, the ugly. I miss food. Like, really, truly, badly miss food. The hard part is that I am still moving slow and feeling worn out so I can't get up and distract myself with the house or better yet, sewing. It's kind of like going cold turkey off your drug of choice. I guess alcoholics and drug addicts would have a problem with that statement. But hey, at least they can LIVE without their drug! 

Being this hungry makes one obsess about food. Do you have any idea how many posts on facebook are of food? How many commercials on TV are about food? How many things Dean Winchester eats on back episodes of Supernatural? (I'm on season 4. That's been my staple for entertainment these last days. I'd never seen it before and I'm now a die hard fan.)

Anyway, I'm ready to be advanced to moist and mushy. Liquid bites. 

I've had very little pain which is wonderful. Twice I've had kind of a bad, sharp pain attack. I can't link it to anything other than moving. I'm trying to be careful. And my attention span is still not what it was. I have a hard time staying focused.

No regrets. No looking back.

"He must become more; I must become less." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

Day 1 - Post-Op

So here I am actually on Day 10, post-op. The details of last week are already getting fuzzy. I decided I better hurry up and document some of it!

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September 16, 2015 - Day 1, post-op

Early that morning the nurses had gotten me up onto a scale. They decided I should be able to walk shortly after that. I think I took my first steps at 8:00 a.m. 

To be honest, the daytime nursing staff was less than stellar. I had to wait when I pushed the call button for several minutes. Then, I had to wait an hour or more to get my IV bag changed, walk, or go to the bathroom.

Day 1 was crummy. Mid to late afternoon the respiratory therapist came in. He insisted that the nurse let me sleep with my cpap on. She didn't like it. (Apparently breathing isn't as important to me as I thought.) I was finally able to get good sleep after that. (Once the anesthesia wore off I wasn't sleeping well.)

The nutritionist came in and said I could start on a protein drink if I wanted. I told her I would try. I was able to sip on it off and on. It got icky before long though. Truthfully I didn't have much of an appetite anyway. Water and ice chips made me happy.

I didn't have too much pain then. That's a good thing because even though I was hooked up with my own pain medicine dispenser, they either told stoner me or didn't tell me at all. So until mid-day on day 1 I didn't know I could dispense my own pain meds. Fun huh?

After the sub-par attention during the day, I asked Mark to plan to stay the night with me. Any time the aide or nurse came into the room they would hurry through their task and almost run out. Not how are you? Not are you in pain? Just sprinting away.

As it turned out, I would have been okay without him. The night shift of nurses came on and these were exceptional. Melissa was the RN and Tirey was the CNA. They were so attentive. They checked on me often. Before leaving the room the asked, "Do you need this? Do you need that? What else can I do for you?"

I realize the day shift must be a lot busier than the night shift. But the effort and care and concern the two night shift people put into their job made all the difference. Night and day difference. Ha.

I realize nurses have a difficult job. I couldn't do it. But if some can be phenomenal and some, well, not so much, I think it is okay to point out the difference. I'm not criticizing nurses in general. Just two that I did not feel safe or cared for with.

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I'm shrinking by the way. Mark called me the Incredible Shrinking Woman last night. I secretly liked that. :) 

May my lifesong sing to You, Father. All the praise, all the glory, all I do I give to You.

"He must increase, I must decrease." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

Surgery Day

So obviously today is not my surgery day. Currently I am one week, one day post-op and doing well. However, I want to be sure to document the days leading up to now.

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Tuesday, September 15, 2015

I woke up at 4:30 a.m. and took Emend as directed by surgeon. Snoozed until 5:00 then got up and showered with unpleasant, surgical solution stuff,  Dyna Hex 4.

We remembered to take a few pictures. Books suggest you take one as you are being wheeled off to surgery. Uh, no thank you. These will do fine.

Approximately 250 lbs. (down from 263 in May 2015)

Check in at the hospital went smoothly. We didn't wait very long before they called us back. I got to put on a dreadful, paper warming gown. Paper, folks. And for once in my life something was ridiculously large on me.

Mark and I had a little alone time here. Even though I wasn't scared I had some last minute words for him. I'll have to ask him what all I said but I'm pretty sure I thanked him for making me a wife and mother. I also told him to make sure that William knew that I knew how much he loved me. He holds a lot of his feelings inside and I worried about that.

Nurses here in the holding room were Cathy (who reminded me of my Grammy) and Ann (the name of a great friend I have here in GJ). Tons and tons of questions. Medical history review. Medication review. The thing I was dreading most was another IV. It was time. They looked over both arms. Both hands. Both wrists. They settled on what I presume was a "good one" in my left wrist. 

I held my breath. This never goes well. Before I knew it they said it was in. Just a pinch and a little less Oxygen to my brain and it was done. I credit my army of prayer warriors. 

After that I met the anesthesiologist. She was 10. When did I get to be so much older than my medical professionals? I told her my preference was to not wake up during the surgery. (Don't laugh. This has happened to me twice before.) She assured me that was her goal.

They gave me a blood thinning shot in my thigh. The bruise is still there. Then Dr. Bow-Tie came in. I told him I'd lost a little weight for him. 

Mark said, "Eleven pounds". 

Dr. Bow-Tie said, "That's more than a little!" 

I beamed.

I told him I couldn't believe he had called me dad. He seemed concerned and asked, "Didn't you ask me to?"

I told him yes but I hadn't expected him to. (Side note: My father had the most concerns of anyone about me having this surgery and requested a conversation with the surgeon.)

Anyway, I made sure Dr. Bow-Tie was holding nothing from that conversation against me. Ha

After that things moved quickly. Ann came in with a sedative. Woo hoo. I told her I had ordered the party package so it better be good. She assured me I wouldn't be disappointed. I think I kind of remember going into the OR but it feels more like a dream.

All of sudden I was burping. Yep. That's my first memory post-op. I was burping and burping. And a nurse was cheering me on as I did this. And then, I was nauseous. I have no idea who the nurse was attending me but she was awesome. I couldn't even tell my voice said, "Nau-seous". But somehow she managed to understand me. Then the nausea went away and I went to sleep.

My next memory is in my room with Mark beside me. Every time I opened my eyes I knew he would be right there to my right. My strong, gentle, patient, faithful hero. Steadfast. Always.

I have no idea what time it happened, but I do remember Sheila Yeager and Shirley Bagga poking their heads in at some point. I smiled with my stoner grin and I think Mark spoke to them. It was a good feeling to know my people were checking up on me.

I remembered I was supposed to be up walking by 3 pm or so. I remember a nurse asking me if I was ready to try to walk. I thought, "I probably have to stand up to do that?" And then I thought, "I probably have to sit up to stand up?"

Folks, I could barely talk, I could barely open my eyes. Sure, a jaunt to the door sounds blissful.

It was late in the day before they got me up to sitting on the edge of the bed. With tears in my eyes I said, "I know I'm supposed to be walking but I really don't think I can stand up."

Later that night, like 4 a.m., they came in to weigh me. I wondered if in the grand scheme of things how important that was. As I stood up and held on to the rail of the scale I really wondered if I was okay or not.

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I think that's enough for one post. Now that I can stand to look at the computer screen and my attention span is slightly longer than a gnats, I will try to keep writing about my experience while it is somewhat fresh.

I will confess that there is indeed less of me. And I always strive to have more of Him.

Be blessed and be blessings y'all.

On the Eve of Surgery

I can't believe it is finally here. It seems like it was so long ago they set my surgery date over a month away. It couldn't get here fast enough. And now? Here it is.

People asked me all day yesterday if I was nervous. Oddly enough, I'm not. I've educated myself. I've prayed fervently. I've discussed every aspect with multiple people. I'm confident in my decision. I'm confident in my surgeon. Most of all I'm confident in my God. I have felt His hand in every step of this process.

Took my medical solution shower last night. Gotta do it again tonight and then again in the morning. Have to put a nausea patch on tonight and then take one dose of medication in the morning. It's kind of a lot to remember!

I am on a liquid diet today. I'm feeling it now. I've been working around the house a lot trying to tidy up and make things easier on my family and on my return home. I think my activity caught up with my lack of calories.

Yes, yes it did. I've been sitting here like a vegetable for an hour! Time for another shake and see what else I can knock out.

I am at peace. God has this and whatever that means, whatever He has planned, I have put my hope and trust in Him.

"He must increase and I must decrease." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

Pre-Op Diet

I have really struggled all week long. I was able to talk myself down from the ledge of head hunger. That wasn't a problem. But I was ingesting so few calories that I was pretty constantly experiencing physiological hunger. I've been exhausted. I've been dizzy. I've been light-headed. I've felt really yucky.

A sample of a day in the life of my wackadoo diet:

Breakfast - Protein shake

Lunch - 1 slice whole grain bread, 2 oz. lean lunch meat, 1 slice swiss, 1 boiled egg

Dinner - 3 oz. lean meat, 1/2 c. red potato

Some days there was a sugar free yogurt thrown in, an extra boiled egg or an additional protein shake.  It depended on how my calorie count was going or how weak I was feeling.

I'll tell ya though, I'm really proud of myself. I have done very, very well. Today, I had my pre-op weight check and I had lost 11 pounds since Wednesday, September 2. I was shocked. And thrilled. And hungry.

Thought it was a bit apropos that I had lost 11 pounds on the 14th anniversary of 9/11. 

Can I be honest? As I was driving across town to pick little Bella (our Shorkie-Tzu), I had a strong urge to pull into Dairy Queen. In my head I'm like, "Why?" I couldn't tell you the last time I patroned a DQ. I knew I wouldn't, but I did want to. And that made me sad. And that, mad me mad. 

However, across the street from our DQ was a van whose imprint read, "Bonsai"! (Side note: I love Bonsai and bamboo!) I called Mark and asked if I could stop and get one.  I went back later that afternoon and got a $40 bonsai for $20. I met a very nice man of Asian descent I believe. All in all a fantastic substitute for DQ.

So days are counting down. I can't believe it is almost finally here. All the planning, evaluations, education, medical appointments are finally going to pay off.

I've got a lot of life to yet to live. I'm ready to get on with it. Be with me, Father God. Bless these efforts and may I grow to be a more active servant of Yours. 

"He must become more, I must become less." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

Pre-Op Education

Well, my pre-op education at the hospital is done. Thought I would document those goings-on for two reasons. One, so others can know what all it entailed. Two, so I can have a reference to help me remember everything.

First of all, the parking area for Day Surgery at Community Hospital is awful. Aw. Ful.  

Laura, R.N., was my pre-op go-er overer. She was very nice. She asked me all kinds of questions about my medical history, my parents' medical history, my dogs' medical history. You get the point. I had prepared and printed up a current list of my medications (which is pretty long). It's a good idea to get such lists off of the printer to take with you. Just warning those of you who might be inclined to be a little bone headed. Uh-hmm.

She gave me a body wash to use on Sunday night, Monday night, and Tuesday morning before heading to the hospital.  

She told me the surgery was scheduled to be over by 11:15 a.m. That's 3 hours and 15 minutes. Sorry honey. I won't have any idea how long that time is. Good, good drugs. But my honey will be waiting during that time.

I'm to stop taking my fish oil capsules now. Apparently they can thin your blood.

I was sent to have an EKG. And then I was sent to the lab to have blood drawn. "One-stick-Patty" is her name and she don't play! Smooth and easy and I was so thankful!

Did I mention I left my cell phone at home? Yeah. That's fun. Really great when your driver's license and insurance card are with it. And you are checking in at a hospital. That you drove to.

I blame the wackadoo diet ... my brain is cloudy. I could just be forgetful. But I feel strongly it's the diet. Wackadoo. Diet.

Wackadoo or not I have lost more than 6 pounds. I weigh in for a check tomorrow.  Glad for the success. Would really stink to do all this and have nothing to show for it!

"He must become more and I must become less." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all,

Lesa

My Fight Song

When I heard this a few weeks ago it hit me HARD. I feel like this will be a fight against Satan. A fight for me to reclaim the temple in Jesus' name that I have been given to maintain. A fight to live and eat as God designed me to. A fight to say, "Get behind me! Hit the road. See ya sucker." This vessel I'm in now ... it could not have been God's dream for me. I'm using a very distinct tool to reclaim it. Every ounce, every wow moment, every victory will be glory to Him. Even with surgery I wouldn't get very far without Him. So I scream from the top of my lungs ...

"This is my fight song

Take back my life song

Prove I'm alright song

My power's turned on

Starting right now I'll be strong

I'll play my fight song

And I don't really care if nobody else believes

'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me."*

This week has been rough.  But I know now that I can do hard things.  1000 calories a day is very, very hard.  (I think I get a little more than that even after my stomach is smaller!)  But telling my kids I couldn't take them to the zoo in Atlanta because my knee hurt too bad ... that was one of the hardest things of all.  I can't do that again.  I won't.  So bring it on!

"He must increase and I must decrease!"  - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

* As performed by Rachel Platten

Down to the Last Week

Well, I can't let this day go by without a little post to acknowledge it.  It is crazy to me that the event I have been working very hard to get to is a week away!

I'm on Day 4 of the pre-op diet.  It hasn't been loads of fun but I am surviving.  I had planned to stop coffee yesterday but instead I started weaning myself off last week.  It went VERY WELL.  And I'm glad I didn't chance having any withdrawal symptoms this week.

I tell you what ... this is not for the faint of heart.  I wanted so badly to get a coney at Sonic today.  Not a footlong.  I haven't done that for many years.  But just a regular one.  There was no way I would have.  My mind is made up.  But the longing for it ... it made me sad.  And that made me mad.  But the bottom line is I'm choosing change.  So I pulled in and got my Route 44 ice water.  I can't use straws for 12 weeks after surgery so I'm getting my last fix.

Our homeschool co-op had orientation today.  It was great to get out and be distracted!  Trini got to be a girl and giggle and chat with her friends and I got to meet some great people and help out with registration.

The next few days have a little activity each day which is actually good.  But they aren't packed which is good too.  Will has his 11th birthday this weekend and I'm looking forward to celebrating his precious life.

A friend told me today that she was proud of me.  She said, "What you're doing isn't easy."  Those words were balm on a heart that is still working through the mental aspects of this surgery.  Nothing has been easy so far and it gets even harder post-op.

I'm so ready.  So.  Very.  Ready.

"He must become more and I must become less."  John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

Not My Favorite

This picture made me cry. I had so enjoyed being on my own in a strange city with the kids (while Mark was at a conference).  My knee was hurting a lot but I had a great time.  Then I saw this picture and it was as if I was a balloon and this picture was a big, sharp pin.  Never felt as big as I did when I saw it.

Insiders' Look

So, since the beginning most of my inner sanctum has been getting periodic updates on the progress of my surgery.  I've decided to publish the most recent email I sent out in order to make my blog a little more personal.  Hope you enjoy this inside look!

Begin Email:

Hey y'all!

Well, it has begun.  Day 1 of the 10 day pre-op diet and I'm doing okay. Protein shake alone didn't go very far to start the day but after a healthily made to the specs I was given half a sandwich, I started feeling better. On protein shake number two now. Almond Vanilla ... yummo. This is a high protein, low carb diet to drop some weight and shrink my liver before surgery. (They have to lift my liver out of the way to get to my stomach. The smaller it is the easier that is to do. And Dr. Hanosh is a petite man ... gotta help him out.) Your liver is the first place you gain fat and the first place you lose fat, fyi. I guess I'll have the liver of a super model early on after surgery. tee hee

Mountain top experience report ... was absolutely what I wanted and needed it to be. The family would wonder off to explore and do their thing and I had time to sit and pray and meditate and read His Word. It was true communion and between that and the WLS books I read while there my take away was that I'm doing just what I'm supposed to be doing.

I had my pre-op education class with the WLS center on Tuesday. It's much more real when they talk about your real life expectations as opposed to reading about others' experiences. The only time my eyes teared up and I nearly pushed back from the table to leave was when I heard "clear liquid diet". LOL. I'm very impressed with the organization they have and the very structured program.   

I saw Dr. Hanosh on Wednesday. Spent a lot of time talking with him. Had a whole list of questions for him. (It had been shortened due to many being answered at the educ. class.) He went over all the risks. I knew it all of course. :) Actually he mentioned that it was likely my liver would be enlarged (even if less fatty) ... and that a biopsy of it is usually taken. I signed my surgery consent form ... talk about a very real moment. He is so patient and gentle ... I just really, really like him. He was impressed with my WLS binder and all my questions. I got brownie points because I had not gained weight like a lot of patients do!! I had lost a couple of pounds. Oh, and I love him extra because he said I could have protein shakes all day the day before surgery instead of clear fluids. God bless Dr. Bowtie!

Another important development this week was getting my hair done yesterday.  Gotta be bright and sunshiney when I wake up in the hospital.  Gloomy and frumpy just wouldn't cut it.

Next weekend I'll take Trini and a friend to Goodwill and I will be getting pants in at least 3 or 4 sizes just below what I wear now. Get a pair or three at each size so I will have something to wear as I shrink. Shirts I will worry about later as mine start to swallow me up.

I would love for you to pray over me this week as I struggle for energy with this wackadoo diet. Next Monday will likely be a little difficult diet wise so pray that day too. Surgery is at 8 am on Tuesday morning with a check-in at 6:30. This is a huge blessing! I will be feeling not so good from lack of food and I will not have all morning to get anxious or worried.

And I'm feeling the emotional ties pulling on me. We had to go shop for groceries today because our week was so busy I couldn't get to the store!  Seeing things I liked and wondering if I'd ever have them again? It was good. Cathartic even. (So I started typing lethargic instead of cathartic. Freudian slip? I think not.) And it's good to start dealing with feelings like that now. Ya know, it's just all really good!

Thanks for all the support and all the prayers! We're closing in!

Love y'all,

Lesa

End Email

"He must increase and I must decrease." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

Moving Right Along

Full steam ahead ... 

I've shared my journey with a lot more people now. Such a positive response I've had! I feel very loved and a ton of support.

I finished two of the books on my previous list! I'm perusing two more. No sense reading the same things over and over.

I had a great extended weekend at Haviland Lake near Durango, CO. I spent a good bit of time in prayer and meditation and had a time to reflect on what is ahead. It was good to have that time to "get my head on straight" and make sure my heart and mind were alligned.

Yesterday I went to a pre-op education class at the WLS center. Learned new stuff and remembered old stuff. Met two ladies who are having surgery on the same day as me, although theirs is the vertical sleeve.

Things I learned that I didn't like were having to wait until the surgeon says I can have liquid after the surgery when they say I will have a very dry mouth. Fun, fun.

The other thing that almost made me push away from the table and walk away was needing clear liquids only the day before surgery. I've since found out I can have protein shakes that day which means I may survive after all.

Today I met with the surgeon for my pre-op appointment. It appears this is really happening. Ha! I asked him a ton of questions which he was patient and wonderful about. I signed my consent form and we went through all of the possible complications. We talked about how quickly I will come off medications, how quickly my diabetes will subside, and how quickly I'll recover! I seriously get teary eyed when I think about it!

I got my surgery time and my post-op prescriptions.  I have to check in at 6:30 on the 15th and surgery should be around 8. Rumor has it some gastric bypass patients are only spending one night in the hospital.  I will do my best to get up and walk and drink every little two ounce cup of water or protein drinks they give me.  I would love to be back home as soon as I can!

Hey, wanna see a morbidly obese woman completely freak out? When you have her diagnosis listed on a form for surgery where it says DIAGNOSIS: MORBIDLY OBESE, don't follow that with a "code" that is 278.1. She could think you have mistaken her weight!  Because while she is overweight, she's not that overweight.  

More to talk about but I've got to get ready for Bible class tonight.

"He must become more and I must become less." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!