Week 14 Post-Op

Random Thoughts:

My hair is falling out. Big time. Normal side effect but it is unsettling.

My wedding rings are getting loose. Making me nervous.

I was easily able to fit in the seat at the old theater in Salt Lake City for Jim Brickman's Christmas concert. Woo hoo!

I've started having horrible / migraine quality headaches. I'd gone several weeks post-op without any. They are bad. They happen most often on Sundays. No apparent diet cause. Possibly blood pressure or blood sugar issue but I haven't been able to iron that out yet.

I was able to have a big baking day this week for Christmas treats. In years passed I have been completely exhausted when I was done or had to spread it out over several days. I made most of it on one day this year and it didn't slow me down at all.

Christmas was wonderful. Smaller clothes, less aches and pains, irrepressible joy, Savior focused rather than food focused ... what a difference! I ate very little and while I still struggle with food thoughts, food is quickly becoming a non-issue for me. That's amazing.

In other news there are new bariatric vitamins out that can be swallowed rather than the tiresome chewables I had started out with. I see the surgeon on January 13 and we'll see how all of my vitamin levels are then.  Rarely miss a dose now so the swallowables are a huge advantage!

In really other news, I am also having a consultation on that same day with my surgeon about removing a lump in my breast. It's a lump that has been bothering me since 2010. They did a biopsy then and it came back negative. The radiologist is not overly concerned. He said it just looks funny and not funny like cancer, just strange. He thinks it needs to be removed and pathology done on the whole thing to make sure there's no cancer cells starting.

While I'm the opposite of excited I am certainly not worried at this point. This spot has been mammogrammed, ultrasounded, biopsied and then repeated multiple times (minus the biopsy). I'd rather get it removed than have it keep sending up red flags every year.

I think my brain chemistry is changing too. I am filled with joy. Constantly. Like almost goofy grinning all the time kind of thing ... It is a noticeable (to me) difference. I'm waking up earlier than I used to and getting much more out of my days. Everything in my life has improved. 

As of today I have lost 56 pounds. I am wearing one to two size smaller clothes. My old Christmas pj's were falling off of me! I feel SO GOOD! I feel more like a forty something than a sixty something. That's a significant improvement.

"He must increase but I must decrease." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all ...

Week 9 Post-Op

I slacked off big time from blogging! Guess I've been too busy living. For awhile things were kind of on a plateau so I didn't have much to report. That got me out of the blogging habit. Let's see if I can do better!

I'm 9 weeks post-op today and I've lost right at 46 pounds. Gee whiz. As I typed that just now I realize that is quite close to 50! Mercy! 

It's all been a bed of roses. Ha, not. I've had to check myself mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, every. single. day. I've had to remind myself of my goals, my hopes, my health. I've had some feeling not so good moments and some big time wow moments.

So, my size 18 pants are getting looser. I'm wearing a 1XL most of the time instead of a 2X or 3 X. My pajamas were falling off so I've had to replace those as well as under garments. (Doesn't that sound prim and proper? Yeah, not like me at all.) My feet seem to continue to shrink in width. My wedding ring is getting looser.

This kids and I went to Park Meadows Mall in Denver, CO, last week. It was a rose and thorn kind of experience. While there the kids wanted Blizzards from Dairy Queen. I didn't mind. I knew I couldn't have one / shouldn't have one. Will gave me a nibble and I was happy. I saw a smoothie place there and thought, "Ooh, I could get a healthy treat!"

She handed me their nutritional info and I soon realized there was way too much sugar and way too many carbs. That kinda bummed me out. I had gotten all excited and then, deflation.

The next day Trinity and I were visiting with my mom and Trini was the one to point out that I had made it 3 1/2 hours at the mall without tiring out or beginning to limp .. AT ALL. That was a WOW moment and it was priceless. I'm really making progress.

I try not to eat more than a nibble of things that don't provide protein. A nibble usually satiates me or shows me it wasn't as good as my wack-a-doo mind remembers.

Mark and I walk for half an hour almost every night. 

Over a 4 or 5 week period my blood pressure started inching up. I was moving. I was losing weight. I was eating appropriately. It was a real bummer to call my doctor about restarting a blood pressure medicine. 

I also had two migraines within 3 days of each other. I hadn't had one since surgery and since even before that. So that rattled me a good bit.

I saw my GP yesterday and she changed my blood pressure medicine to one that is known to help with migraine prevention. Praises be! She assured me she thinks I will end up coming off of that for blood pressure but might consider continuing for migraines as long as my blood pressure doesn't get too low.

She sent me to have a blood draw to check on my diabetes. My sugars have been running between 100 and 130, fasting and non. My A1C was 8.1 just before surgery. They called that afternoon to let me know it was down to 5.9! That more than made up for the blood pressure snafoo. 5.7 or less is considered normal people! 

I am so content, so happy, so filled with eucharisteo ... gratefulness. God has been so good to me and so very faithful. I intend to pay it forward for all of my days.

"He must increase, but I must decrease." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

4 1/2 Weeks Post Op

Well it has been awhile. There were a few days that I had nothing new to report on. Then, there were a few really difficult days that I wasn't in a good enough place to report on.

Week before last I had a series of rough days. The first one happened when I was eating tuna salad while talking on the phone. I did one of two things or maybe both wrong. I ate too fast and I didn't chew well enough. This is because I was on the phone and not paying attention.

I think what I experienced was a version of dumping syndrome although it was nothing really like episodes I've heard described. I had a tightening in my stomach and pain. Then I got nauseous. Then, weirdly, I started salivating like crazy. I never threw up but my body wanted to. It was scary and it was disturbing. And it wasn't fun.

Two days later I did the same thing again. Either too fast or not chewing well. Second verse, same as the first.

And then to add insult to injury the scale quit moving. For over a week it did not go down at all! I was freaking out. And then, emotionally, I was a wreck.

In the grand scheme of things I've done fantastic. The nutritionist was pleased with my progress. Heck, I'm pleased with my progress. I have more room in the shower. My shirts are getting looser. I'm wearing the next size down pants for the first time. My blood sugars and blood pressures are doing well. We've walked every single day since I've been home from the hospital. My knee is doing well. Mark sees the physical changes but I can't really see that much yet.

I'm 39 pounds down from July 1. That's no small feat.

Today we picked up our new bathroom rugs which was my 20 lb. incentive. And, as a bonus, I got to get my 40 pound incentive a pound early. That, y'all, was a new handbag. Oh, yeah! Take a left, check it out. (The little quilt block was already mine from Amish country.)

50 pounds is a new bike.

And here's me today in my smaller jeans and my happier disposition!

Smaller jeans for the first time!

Close up at 39 lbs down.

Still striving daily to have more of Him in my life and less of me! (John 3:30)

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

16 days Post-Op

A Wow and a Funny to share

Funny ... the Kracken was released yesterday to eat moist and mushy foods. Her dream come true, right? How did she celebrate? 

• 1/4 cup of scrambled eggs
• 1/4 cup tuna salad (with miracle whip light)
• 1/4 cup refried beans
• 1/4 cup red potato

Aren't you jealous? That's over the whole day! Crazy to me. Truly.

In other news, for kicks I tried on the next size down pants I bought at Goodwill back before surgery. They totally fit. Were too snug to button because of my incisions, but yeah. They fit. Wow!

I have been so blessed. The only nausea I can report was in the hospital in the recovery room. I've had minimal pain. I haven't had any of the "dumping syndrome" they warn us about. (Where inappropriate foods aren't processed in your stomach and move into your small intestine and it just wants to dump them somewhere because it doesn't like unprocessed food!) 

Of course, I am a goodie goodie. (The psychologist said so.) I have been doing my best to follow the rules and guidelines!

And, I've had tons of people praying for me every step of the way. I have to believe that has made the biggest difference!

"He must increase, I must decrease." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

15 Days Post Op

I'm afraid I'm going to start repeating myself. My brain has been a bit fuzzy since the surgery. Today, I am 15 days post-op. I saw my surgeon and had a great visit.

He was impressed with my blood pressure numbers and my bee-u-tee-ful blood sugars. I was down 20 lbs. since my last visit to his office on September 11. That's down 31 lbs. since my first visit to him!

He also said the most beautiful words one could ever hear!! "You can advance to the moist and mushy / fork tender diet." Tears of joy.

I have to work on my water intake. Most I've gotten is 50 oz. in a day. Need to get up to 60 to 64. It's VERY hard! And I can't drink while I eat so that's going to add a kink in things. I used to refill my 44 oz. cup three or four times a day. Crazy how I'm struggling now! At least I like water.

I've really struggled y'all. Liquids? I mean after so long they all are just blah. Like, even when I was hungry, nothing sounded worth getting up and drinking! So, I prayed. A. Lot. Those first days home when I didn't feel like moving were the worst. I couldn't get up and distract myself! 

But here's the thing. I've struggled. It's been hard. Like, really, really hard. But I have the advantage of having help this time. For every day that I struggle and fight, I actually see progress being made. If the scale hadn't changed a bit, the fact that I've gone from 11 prescriptions down to 4 is miraculous! Do you know how much of a difference it makes to struggle and see positive results? I've barely had that. Ever.

Mark takes me for walks now. I actually made it around the block last night. And, I left the walker at home. Feels good to walk without assistance!

I'm going to try driving today, a short distance but still. It scares me a little. I'm off the pain meds but twisting and reaching are hard. I'll take it a little at a time and see how it goes. I'll work up to heading to Hobby Lobby you know!

I'm back into my devotions on a pretty regular basis and that makes a world of difference. My friend Ann says it's like a big, warm hug. Amen, Sister! 

"He must become more, I must become less." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

11 Days Post-Op

It occurs to me that I haven't talked much about the weight loss. I certainly haven't been disappointed in that area. More than numbers on the scale, my blood sugars have gone way down. (On one med instead of two.) My blood pressure is hovering a little higher than I would like but not dangerous at this time. (That's with no blood pressure meds as opposed to the three before.) And I have experienced no knee pain yet that required ice. (I was icing every other day it seemed before.) Now, the knee thing could change as I am able to move more and more.

Okay, I think I'm ready to talk numbers.

263 - When I made the decision to have weight loss surgery

261 - My first surgeon's appointment

250 - My pre-op weight check

241 - One week post-op

235 - 11 days post-op

I don't think these numbers will continue once I start eating as opposed to drinking my calories. But it feels wonderful to get a head start on getting healthier.

Now, the ugly. I miss food. Like, really, truly, badly miss food. The hard part is that I am still moving slow and feeling worn out so I can't get up and distract myself with the house or better yet, sewing. It's kind of like going cold turkey off your drug of choice. I guess alcoholics and drug addicts would have a problem with that statement. But hey, at least they can LIVE without their drug! 

Being this hungry makes one obsess about food. Do you have any idea how many posts on facebook are of food? How many commercials on TV are about food? How many things Dean Winchester eats on back episodes of Supernatural? (I'm on season 4. That's been my staple for entertainment these last days. I'd never seen it before and I'm now a die hard fan.)

Anyway, I'm ready to be advanced to moist and mushy. Liquid bites. 

I've had very little pain which is wonderful. Twice I've had kind of a bad, sharp pain attack. I can't link it to anything other than moving. I'm trying to be careful. And my attention span is still not what it was. I have a hard time staying focused.

No regrets. No looking back.

"He must become more; I must become less." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

Day 1 - Post-Op

So here I am actually on Day 10, post-op. The details of last week are already getting fuzzy. I decided I better hurry up and document some of it!

_____

September 16, 2015 - Day 1, post-op

Early that morning the nurses had gotten me up onto a scale. They decided I should be able to walk shortly after that. I think I took my first steps at 8:00 a.m. 

To be honest, the daytime nursing staff was less than stellar. I had to wait when I pushed the call button for several minutes. Then, I had to wait an hour or more to get my IV bag changed, walk, or go to the bathroom.

Day 1 was crummy. Mid to late afternoon the respiratory therapist came in. He insisted that the nurse let me sleep with my cpap on. She didn't like it. (Apparently breathing isn't as important to me as I thought.) I was finally able to get good sleep after that. (Once the anesthesia wore off I wasn't sleeping well.)

The nutritionist came in and said I could start on a protein drink if I wanted. I told her I would try. I was able to sip on it off and on. It got icky before long though. Truthfully I didn't have much of an appetite anyway. Water and ice chips made me happy.

I didn't have too much pain then. That's a good thing because even though I was hooked up with my own pain medicine dispenser, they either told stoner me or didn't tell me at all. So until mid-day on day 1 I didn't know I could dispense my own pain meds. Fun huh?

After the sub-par attention during the day, I asked Mark to plan to stay the night with me. Any time the aide or nurse came into the room they would hurry through their task and almost run out. Not how are you? Not are you in pain? Just sprinting away.

As it turned out, I would have been okay without him. The night shift of nurses came on and these were exceptional. Melissa was the RN and Tirey was the CNA. They were so attentive. They checked on me often. Before leaving the room the asked, "Do you need this? Do you need that? What else can I do for you?"

I realize the day shift must be a lot busier than the night shift. But the effort and care and concern the two night shift people put into their job made all the difference. Night and day difference. Ha.

I realize nurses have a difficult job. I couldn't do it. But if some can be phenomenal and some, well, not so much, I think it is okay to point out the difference. I'm not criticizing nurses in general. Just two that I did not feel safe or cared for with.

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I'm shrinking by the way. Mark called me the Incredible Shrinking Woman last night. I secretly liked that. :) 

May my lifesong sing to You, Father. All the praise, all the glory, all I do I give to You.

"He must increase, I must decrease." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

Surgery Day

So obviously today is not my surgery day. Currently I am one week, one day post-op and doing well. However, I want to be sure to document the days leading up to now.

------------------------

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

I woke up at 4:30 a.m. and took Emend as directed by surgeon. Snoozed until 5:00 then got up and showered with unpleasant, surgical solution stuff,  Dyna Hex 4.

We remembered to take a few pictures. Books suggest you take one as you are being wheeled off to surgery. Uh, no thank you. These will do fine.

Approximately 250 lbs. (down from 263 in May 2015)

Check in at the hospital went smoothly. We didn't wait very long before they called us back. I got to put on a dreadful, paper warming gown. Paper, folks. And for once in my life something was ridiculously large on me.

Mark and I had a little alone time here. Even though I wasn't scared I had some last minute words for him. I'll have to ask him what all I said but I'm pretty sure I thanked him for making me a wife and mother. I also told him to make sure that William knew that I knew how much he loved me. He holds a lot of his feelings inside and I worried about that.

Nurses here in the holding room were Cathy (who reminded me of my Grammy) and Ann (the name of a great friend I have here in GJ). Tons and tons of questions. Medical history review. Medication review. The thing I was dreading most was another IV. It was time. They looked over both arms. Both hands. Both wrists. They settled on what I presume was a "good one" in my left wrist. 

I held my breath. This never goes well. Before I knew it they said it was in. Just a pinch and a little less Oxygen to my brain and it was done. I credit my army of prayer warriors. 

After that I met the anesthesiologist. She was 10. When did I get to be so much older than my medical professionals? I told her my preference was to not wake up during the surgery. (Don't laugh. This has happened to me twice before.) She assured me that was her goal.

They gave me a blood thinning shot in my thigh. The bruise is still there. Then Dr. Bow-Tie came in. I told him I'd lost a little weight for him. 

Mark said, "Eleven pounds". 

Dr. Bow-Tie said, "That's more than a little!" 

I beamed.

I told him I couldn't believe he had called me dad. He seemed concerned and asked, "Didn't you ask me to?"

I told him yes but I hadn't expected him to. (Side note: My father had the most concerns of anyone about me having this surgery and requested a conversation with the surgeon.)

Anyway, I made sure Dr. Bow-Tie was holding nothing from that conversation against me. Ha

After that things moved quickly. Ann came in with a sedative. Woo hoo. I told her I had ordered the party package so it better be good. She assured me I wouldn't be disappointed. I think I kind of remember going into the OR but it feels more like a dream.

All of sudden I was burping. Yep. That's my first memory post-op. I was burping and burping. And a nurse was cheering me on as I did this. And then, I was nauseous. I have no idea who the nurse was attending me but she was awesome. I couldn't even tell my voice said, "Nau-seous". But somehow she managed to understand me. Then the nausea went away and I went to sleep.

My next memory is in my room with Mark beside me. Every time I opened my eyes I knew he would be right there to my right. My strong, gentle, patient, faithful hero. Steadfast. Always.

I have no idea what time it happened, but I do remember Sheila Yeager and Shirley Bagga poking their heads in at some point. I smiled with my stoner grin and I think Mark spoke to them. It was a good feeling to know my people were checking up on me.

I remembered I was supposed to be up walking by 3 pm or so. I remember a nurse asking me if I was ready to try to walk. I thought, "I probably have to stand up to do that?" And then I thought, "I probably have to sit up to stand up?"

Folks, I could barely talk, I could barely open my eyes. Sure, a jaunt to the door sounds blissful.

It was late in the day before they got me up to sitting on the edge of the bed. With tears in my eyes I said, "I know I'm supposed to be walking but I really don't think I can stand up."

Later that night, like 4 a.m., they came in to weigh me. I wondered if in the grand scheme of things how important that was. As I stood up and held on to the rail of the scale I really wondered if I was okay or not.

---------------------------

I think that's enough for one post. Now that I can stand to look at the computer screen and my attention span is slightly longer than a gnats, I will try to keep writing about my experience while it is somewhat fresh.

I will confess that there is indeed less of me. And I always strive to have more of Him.

Be blessed and be blessings y'all.

On the Eve of Surgery

I can't believe it is finally here. It seems like it was so long ago they set my surgery date over a month away. It couldn't get here fast enough. And now? Here it is.

People asked me all day yesterday if I was nervous. Oddly enough, I'm not. I've educated myself. I've prayed fervently. I've discussed every aspect with multiple people. I'm confident in my decision. I'm confident in my surgeon. Most of all I'm confident in my God. I have felt His hand in every step of this process.

Took my medical solution shower last night. Gotta do it again tonight and then again in the morning. Have to put a nausea patch on tonight and then take one dose of medication in the morning. It's kind of a lot to remember!

I am on a liquid diet today. I'm feeling it now. I've been working around the house a lot trying to tidy up and make things easier on my family and on my return home. I think my activity caught up with my lack of calories.

Yes, yes it did. I've been sitting here like a vegetable for an hour! Time for another shake and see what else I can knock out.

I am at peace. God has this and whatever that means, whatever He has planned, I have put my hope and trust in Him.

"He must increase and I must decrease." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

Pre-Op Diet

I have really struggled all week long. I was able to talk myself down from the ledge of head hunger. That wasn't a problem. But I was ingesting so few calories that I was pretty constantly experiencing physiological hunger. I've been exhausted. I've been dizzy. I've been light-headed. I've felt really yucky.

A sample of a day in the life of my wackadoo diet:

Breakfast - Protein shake

Lunch - 1 slice whole grain bread, 2 oz. lean lunch meat, 1 slice swiss, 1 boiled egg

Dinner - 3 oz. lean meat, 1/2 c. red potato

Some days there was a sugar free yogurt thrown in, an extra boiled egg or an additional protein shake.  It depended on how my calorie count was going or how weak I was feeling.

I'll tell ya though, I'm really proud of myself. I have done very, very well. Today, I had my pre-op weight check and I had lost 11 pounds since Wednesday, September 2. I was shocked. And thrilled. And hungry.

Thought it was a bit apropos that I had lost 11 pounds on the 14th anniversary of 9/11. 

Can I be honest? As I was driving across town to pick little Bella (our Shorkie-Tzu), I had a strong urge to pull into Dairy Queen. In my head I'm like, "Why?" I couldn't tell you the last time I patroned a DQ. I knew I wouldn't, but I did want to. And that made me sad. And that, mad me mad. 

However, across the street from our DQ was a van whose imprint read, "Bonsai"! (Side note: I love Bonsai and bamboo!) I called Mark and asked if I could stop and get one.  I went back later that afternoon and got a $40 bonsai for $20. I met a very nice man of Asian descent I believe. All in all a fantastic substitute for DQ.

So days are counting down. I can't believe it is almost finally here. All the planning, evaluations, education, medical appointments are finally going to pay off.

I've got a lot of life to yet to live. I'm ready to get on with it. Be with me, Father God. Bless these efforts and may I grow to be a more active servant of Yours. 

"He must become more, I must become less." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

Pre-Op Education

Well, my pre-op education at the hospital is done. Thought I would document those goings-on for two reasons. One, so others can know what all it entailed. Two, so I can have a reference to help me remember everything.

First of all, the parking area for Day Surgery at Community Hospital is awful. Aw. Ful.  

Laura, R.N., was my pre-op go-er overer. She was very nice. She asked me all kinds of questions about my medical history, my parents' medical history, my dogs' medical history. You get the point. I had prepared and printed up a current list of my medications (which is pretty long). It's a good idea to get such lists off of the printer to take with you. Just warning those of you who might be inclined to be a little bone headed. Uh-hmm.

She gave me a body wash to use on Sunday night, Monday night, and Tuesday morning before heading to the hospital.  

She told me the surgery was scheduled to be over by 11:15 a.m. That's 3 hours and 15 minutes. Sorry honey. I won't have any idea how long that time is. Good, good drugs. But my honey will be waiting during that time.

I'm to stop taking my fish oil capsules now. Apparently they can thin your blood.

I was sent to have an EKG. And then I was sent to the lab to have blood drawn. "One-stick-Patty" is her name and she don't play! Smooth and easy and I was so thankful!

Did I mention I left my cell phone at home? Yeah. That's fun. Really great when your driver's license and insurance card are with it. And you are checking in at a hospital. That you drove to.

I blame the wackadoo diet ... my brain is cloudy. I could just be forgetful. But I feel strongly it's the diet. Wackadoo. Diet.

Wackadoo or not I have lost more than 6 pounds. I weigh in for a check tomorrow.  Glad for the success. Would really stink to do all this and have nothing to show for it!

"He must become more and I must become less." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all,

Lesa

My Fight Song

When I heard this a few weeks ago it hit me HARD. I feel like this will be a fight against Satan. A fight for me to reclaim the temple in Jesus' name that I have been given to maintain. A fight to live and eat as God designed me to. A fight to say, "Get behind me! Hit the road. See ya sucker." This vessel I'm in now ... it could not have been God's dream for me. I'm using a very distinct tool to reclaim it. Every ounce, every wow moment, every victory will be glory to Him. Even with surgery I wouldn't get very far without Him. So I scream from the top of my lungs ...

"This is my fight song

Take back my life song

Prove I'm alright song

My power's turned on

Starting right now I'll be strong

I'll play my fight song

And I don't really care if nobody else believes

'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me."*

This week has been rough.  But I know now that I can do hard things.  1000 calories a day is very, very hard.  (I think I get a little more than that even after my stomach is smaller!)  But telling my kids I couldn't take them to the zoo in Atlanta because my knee hurt too bad ... that was one of the hardest things of all.  I can't do that again.  I won't.  So bring it on!

"He must increase and I must decrease!"  - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

* As performed by Rachel Platten

Down to the Last Week

Well, I can't let this day go by without a little post to acknowledge it.  It is crazy to me that the event I have been working very hard to get to is a week away!

I'm on Day 4 of the pre-op diet.  It hasn't been loads of fun but I am surviving.  I had planned to stop coffee yesterday but instead I started weaning myself off last week.  It went VERY WELL.  And I'm glad I didn't chance having any withdrawal symptoms this week.

I tell you what ... this is not for the faint of heart.  I wanted so badly to get a coney at Sonic today.  Not a footlong.  I haven't done that for many years.  But just a regular one.  There was no way I would have.  My mind is made up.  But the longing for it ... it made me sad.  And that made me mad.  But the bottom line is I'm choosing change.  So I pulled in and got my Route 44 ice water.  I can't use straws for 12 weeks after surgery so I'm getting my last fix.

Our homeschool co-op had orientation today.  It was great to get out and be distracted!  Trini got to be a girl and giggle and chat with her friends and I got to meet some great people and help out with registration.

The next few days have a little activity each day which is actually good.  But they aren't packed which is good too.  Will has his 11th birthday this weekend and I'm looking forward to celebrating his precious life.

A friend told me today that she was proud of me.  She said, "What you're doing isn't easy."  Those words were balm on a heart that is still working through the mental aspects of this surgery.  Nothing has been easy so far and it gets even harder post-op.

I'm so ready.  So.  Very.  Ready.

"He must become more and I must become less."  John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

Not My Favorite

This picture made me cry. I had so enjoyed being on my own in a strange city with the kids (while Mark was at a conference).  My knee was hurting a lot but I had a great time.  Then I saw this picture and it was as if I was a balloon and this picture was a big, sharp pin.  Never felt as big as I did when I saw it.

Insiders' Look

So, since the beginning most of my inner sanctum has been getting periodic updates on the progress of my surgery.  I've decided to publish the most recent email I sent out in order to make my blog a little more personal.  Hope you enjoy this inside look!

Begin Email:

Hey y'all!

Well, it has begun.  Day 1 of the 10 day pre-op diet and I'm doing okay. Protein shake alone didn't go very far to start the day but after a healthily made to the specs I was given half a sandwich, I started feeling better. On protein shake number two now. Almond Vanilla ... yummo. This is a high protein, low carb diet to drop some weight and shrink my liver before surgery. (They have to lift my liver out of the way to get to my stomach. The smaller it is the easier that is to do. And Dr. Hanosh is a petite man ... gotta help him out.) Your liver is the first place you gain fat and the first place you lose fat, fyi. I guess I'll have the liver of a super model early on after surgery. tee hee

Mountain top experience report ... was absolutely what I wanted and needed it to be. The family would wonder off to explore and do their thing and I had time to sit and pray and meditate and read His Word. It was true communion and between that and the WLS books I read while there my take away was that I'm doing just what I'm supposed to be doing.

I had my pre-op education class with the WLS center on Tuesday. It's much more real when they talk about your real life expectations as opposed to reading about others' experiences. The only time my eyes teared up and I nearly pushed back from the table to leave was when I heard "clear liquid diet". LOL. I'm very impressed with the organization they have and the very structured program.   

I saw Dr. Hanosh on Wednesday. Spent a lot of time talking with him. Had a whole list of questions for him. (It had been shortened due to many being answered at the educ. class.) He went over all the risks. I knew it all of course. :) Actually he mentioned that it was likely my liver would be enlarged (even if less fatty) ... and that a biopsy of it is usually taken. I signed my surgery consent form ... talk about a very real moment. He is so patient and gentle ... I just really, really like him. He was impressed with my WLS binder and all my questions. I got brownie points because I had not gained weight like a lot of patients do!! I had lost a couple of pounds. Oh, and I love him extra because he said I could have protein shakes all day the day before surgery instead of clear fluids. God bless Dr. Bowtie!

Another important development this week was getting my hair done yesterday.  Gotta be bright and sunshiney when I wake up in the hospital.  Gloomy and frumpy just wouldn't cut it.

Next weekend I'll take Trini and a friend to Goodwill and I will be getting pants in at least 3 or 4 sizes just below what I wear now. Get a pair or three at each size so I will have something to wear as I shrink. Shirts I will worry about later as mine start to swallow me up.

I would love for you to pray over me this week as I struggle for energy with this wackadoo diet. Next Monday will likely be a little difficult diet wise so pray that day too. Surgery is at 8 am on Tuesday morning with a check-in at 6:30. This is a huge blessing! I will be feeling not so good from lack of food and I will not have all morning to get anxious or worried.

And I'm feeling the emotional ties pulling on me. We had to go shop for groceries today because our week was so busy I couldn't get to the store!  Seeing things I liked and wondering if I'd ever have them again? It was good. Cathartic even. (So I started typing lethargic instead of cathartic. Freudian slip? I think not.) And it's good to start dealing with feelings like that now. Ya know, it's just all really good!

Thanks for all the support and all the prayers! We're closing in!

Love y'all,

Lesa

End Email

"He must increase and I must decrease." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

Moving Right Along

Full steam ahead ... 

I've shared my journey with a lot more people now. Such a positive response I've had! I feel very loved and a ton of support.

I finished two of the books on my previous list! I'm perusing two more. No sense reading the same things over and over.

I had a great extended weekend at Haviland Lake near Durango, CO. I spent a good bit of time in prayer and meditation and had a time to reflect on what is ahead. It was good to have that time to "get my head on straight" and make sure my heart and mind were alligned.

Yesterday I went to a pre-op education class at the WLS center. Learned new stuff and remembered old stuff. Met two ladies who are having surgery on the same day as me, although theirs is the vertical sleeve.

Things I learned that I didn't like were having to wait until the surgeon says I can have liquid after the surgery when they say I will have a very dry mouth. Fun, fun.

The other thing that almost made me push away from the table and walk away was needing clear liquids only the day before surgery. I've since found out I can have protein shakes that day which means I may survive after all.

Today I met with the surgeon for my pre-op appointment. It appears this is really happening. Ha! I asked him a ton of questions which he was patient and wonderful about. I signed my consent form and we went through all of the possible complications. We talked about how quickly I will come off medications, how quickly my diabetes will subside, and how quickly I'll recover! I seriously get teary eyed when I think about it!

I got my surgery time and my post-op prescriptions.  I have to check in at 6:30 on the 15th and surgery should be around 8. Rumor has it some gastric bypass patients are only spending one night in the hospital.  I will do my best to get up and walk and drink every little two ounce cup of water or protein drinks they give me.  I would love to be back home as soon as I can!

Hey, wanna see a morbidly obese woman completely freak out? When you have her diagnosis listed on a form for surgery where it says DIAGNOSIS: MORBIDLY OBESE, don't follow that with a "code" that is 278.1. She could think you have mistaken her weight!  Because while she is overweight, she's not that overweight.  

More to talk about but I've got to get ready for Bible class tonight.

"He must become more and I must become less." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

A Reading Fool

Well, I'm trying to continue to educate myself as my surgery date draws near.  20 days.  Woo hoo!

My current reading list consists of:

1. Before & After: Living and Eating Well After Weight Loss Surgery 

     by Susan Leach (who also has a great blog:     

     www.bariatriceating.com

2. The Journey to a Healthier Me 

     by Pam Tremble

3. Eating Well After Weight Loss Surgery 

     by Patt Levine and Michele Bontempo-Saray

4. The Everything Post Weight Loss Surgery Cookbook 

     by Jennifer Heisler and Christine Ren Fielding

and of course I need to finish:

5. The Expert's Guide to Weight-Loss Surgery 

     by Garth Davis, M.D.

A weekend of camping at Haviland Lake promises to help me make a dent in three of these!

"He must become more and I must become less."

- John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

Holy Nutrients Batman! We've Got Vitamins!

One thing you may not know about bariatric surgery patients is that most of us will have to take nutritional supplements for the rest of our lives. This applies most especially to gastric bypass patients whose nutrient/calorie absorbing section is bypassed with the surgery.

And since our stomachs are made to be so much smaller than they were originally, we can't swallow and digest pills in a normal fashion. Which leaves chewables. (Gummies are out. New tummy and lack of digestive acids don't do well with gummies.)

Celebrate Vitamins are ones that the WLS Center carries. So I surfed on to their website (Click HERE to go) to check things out. For $3 you can order a sample pack of their products. And, they give you 10% off your first order so you can potentially put that $3 into your purchase!

I'm going to try to take a picture of what all they sent me. I was totally blown away. I'm going to list it so that if you are looking for chewables for yourself or someone else, you can see what a great deal this was!  

• Multi-Complete - orange
• Multi-Complete - Forest Berry
• Multi-Complete - Mango Peach
• Multivitamin - Pineapple-strawberry
• Multivitamin - Orange
• Multivitamin - Grape
• Multivitamin Soft Chew - Orange
• Multivitamin Soft Chew - Very Berry
• Calcium PLUS 500 - Cherry tart
• Calcium PLUS 500 - Berries and Cream
• Calcium PLUS 500 - Orange Burst
• Calcium Soft Chew - Caramel
• Calcium Soft Chew - Chocolate
• Calcium Soft Chew - Berry
• Creamy Bites - Chocolate
• Iron + Vit C (30 mg) - Grape
• Iron + Vit C (60 mg) - Berry
• B-12 Sublingual - Cherry (quick melt)
• B-12 Sublingual - Mint (quick melt)
• Vitamin D3 5000 - Orange (quick melt)
• Drink Mix with Protein - Chocolate
• Drink Mix Multivitamin & Calcium - Wild Cherry
• Drink Mix 3 in 1 (Multi, Calcium, & Fiber) - Rasp Lemonade

A few of these I have already tried as I got a few samples from the WLS center. But I will be sure and report back on what I like and don't like. Take my opinions with a grain of salt. I am typically a lot pickier than most when it comes to flavors and the textures of edible items.

Here's a picture:

"He must increase but I must decrease." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings  y'all!

Morbidity Revisited

So, in my very first post I list the diseaseas that had been caused by my being overweight. Let's look at some statistics regarding each of those! I'm using The Expert's Guide to Weight Loss Surgery by Garth Davis, M.D. as a reference for the following:

Type 2 Diabetes - completely resolved in 76.8% of WLS patients and resolved or improved in 86%

High Cholesterol - improved in 70% or more of WLS patients

High Blood Pressure - resolved in 61.7% and resolved or improved in 78.5%

Obstructive Sleep Apnea - resolved in 85.7%

Acid Reflux  - minimum of 72% resolved

Degenerative Joint Disease - 41 to 76% resolved

Depression - 55% resolved

Resolved ... means CURED!  Cured.  CURED!

My favorite statistic ...

Quality of life was improved 

in 95% of WLS patients!

I find that to be SO very powerful.

"He must become more, I must become less."

- John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

Numbuh two Endoscopy

Second Endoscopy is on the books.  In the books?  On?  Well, hopefully you are wiser than me and know what I mean. It has been completed. It no longer niggles at me as the last surgeon-ordered step to check off. Well, I haven't finished my book yet.  He did order that. But I'm still reading. No more evaluations or appointments. Except with him. Okay, forget everything I've just said.  I'm still cloudy-brained from the most lovely drugs I was given for the second endoscopy I had yesterday that is now HISTORY.  Although I'm a girl, so that makes it HERSTORY.  Right?  Right.

They got my IV in with one try this time!  Power of prayer my friends, power of prayer.  And my tummy was completely empty, as my light headedness, nausea, and zombie-like state attested to.  Dr. Pretty eyes got all the pictures he needed.  He took biopsies of polyps.  He apparently scraped sandpaper down my throat too because last night my throat started hurting and that has continued today.  Hmmm.  It didn't hurt last time!  But then again nachos prevented him from doing very much then. <Not my fault.  I followed the rules.>

The worst part of this one was the tummy prep.  I could only have clear liquids as long as they weren't red or purple.  Can we all agree that the best jello and popsicles are RED?  And grape is a close second!  By 1 pm, without coffee or breakfast or coffee or lunch or coffee, I was certain I would be a goner by 2 pm.  I called and whined, uh hmm, I mean asked if I could pretty please with sugar on top have a protein shake.  After some discussion with an unidentified person she said yes.  (I may or may not have been sniffling while I waited.)

Side note: Dr. Pretty eyes told me that had been a really good idea for me.  I batted my eyelashes and said, "I know, right!"  Woman with diabetes here ... nutrition, particularly protein is mighty important!

I've been blending away on my kitchen power tool.  Holy cow have I arrived at the promised land of blenders.  People fool around with those pitiful little $30 jobs from Wal-Mart that walk themselves across the counter because they know no better!  Me loves my Ninja! 

The race is on to gather needed supplies, make lists of anything and everything to do with surgery and post op events as well as enjoy lasts that may never be part of my life again.  I have no idea what my new tum tum will tolerate ... likely sugar will become rather unpleasant (and let's be honest, I won't need to let sugar be a part of my life anyway). 

I'm working through a lot in my head too.  I'm hoping the fast of sorts that the surgery will induce will give me time to realize that feeling better and living longer will be way more satisfying than eating crap I don't have any business ingesting.

I'm worn out.  I should have taken it easier today.  The pooches woke me up at like 7.  On a Saturday.  A Saturday people!  I hurried to my devotions and gave God so much praise for the modern day miracle I felt I received yesterday of getting that scope over with.  Once I was done, I started back to work on a baby quilt I'm anxious to get completed.  I ran some errands this afternoon and those were my undoing.  So.  Very.  Exhausted.

I'll have to go back and see what all I've blogged about and what I might need to blog about in the future.  I don't know how much I've talked about all my little appointments I've been to.  I'd like to share all of that, especially if anyone is following this journey heading for one of their own.  I wonder if anybody is reading this?  Leave me a comment if so and let me know if you have any questions.  Answering questions is really good for me.  It helps me focus on the why of this and the how and also keeps my knowledge from melting away and oozing out my ears.

I found another quote today that I found powerful:

If I take advantage of this awesome tool of surgery:

"[ I ] will have an amazing opportunity to overcome and even reverse the death sentence of morbid obesity." - Susan Leach

"He must become more, I must become less." - John 3:30

Be blessed and be blessings y'all!

The Final Countdown

I've never blogged from my phone before.  Hmmm.  Just had to acknowledge that my surgery will be one month from today ... And I am so ready.

Where Am I Now?

As of today I have met all the requirements the surgeon set forth save one.  And I sort of met it but it was ill-fated.

> I met with the physical therapist.

> I've been to the two required nutrition classes.

> I've been to not just the one but two support group meetings.

> I saw the psychologist as well as did the nutso testing.

> I'm 2/3 of the way through the book he wanted me to read.

> I had the endoscopy.  And here's the sort of.  My dinner hadn't digested so I have to go have that done.  Again.  I'm excited.  Not. And I followed all the rules and did exactly what I was supposed to do.  Just sayin'.

I'm psyched!  I feel like I'm cruisin' along with the food guidelines I'll be following.  Crazy low fat diet for two weeks before the surgery and then liquid, moist then mushy for 12 weeks after!  And even though it isn't an exciting diet, I am so excited.  I've said it before, there's no place like hope!

The newest addition to my "Once I'm Healthier List" is: 

• Being able to go into a regular bathroom stall without becoming a contortionist!

And some long term goals I've been thinking on:

• Walking or biking for a MS "athon" fundraiser
• Learning and possibly teaching at some point Holy Yoga
• Taking ballroom dance lessons with Mark
• Playing racquetball with Will and Mark

I also found a quote my friend Lena Towles posted on Facebook that I love:

"Discipline is just choosing between what you want now 

and what you want most." - Augusta F. Kantra

My repeat Endoscopy is scheduled for August 21.  I've booked the party package.  For the first one it took three tries and an ultrasound to get an IV in.  I'm hoping for a less eventful "party" this time.

If you stumble across my blog and have questions I'd love to hear from you.  If you are a loved one and you have questions or concerns or words of wisdom, I'd love to hear from you as well!

"He must become more, I must become less." - John 3:30

Be blessed y'all!